Why Making Friends as an Adult Takes Real Effort (and How to Do It)

Nov 11

Making friends as an adult is nothing like making friends in college. There's no dorm hallway, no built-in schedule, no guaranteed group of people your age showing up every day. You have to build it yourself, and most people never learned how to make friends as an adult in the first place.

This is exactly what Nina Badzin unpacks on this episode of Adulting101 Masterclass with host Heather Redisch. Nina has spent over a decade answering friendship questions as an advice columnist and now hosts Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, a podcast and newsletter. Her work has been featured by major outlets, including NPR, The Wall Street Journal, and TIME.

Nina and Heather get into building a friend group in your 20s, starting with research on how long it takes to become friends with someone. The number surprises most people and explains why so many new friendships feel shallow. They also cover why proximity beats chemistry when you're moving to a new city and making new friends, the difference between joining a group and starting one, and the small habit that can make you far more approachable when you walk into a room alone.

If you're building friendships in your 20s, this episode gives you a real plan for building friendships in your 20s, from the hours it takes to the habits that make it easier.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Welcoming Nina Badzin and Their Childhood Connection

08:00 Why Friendships Don't Need to Be Forever to Matter

10:47 The Proximity Factor and the 200-Hour Friendship Research

14:40 Three Ways to Make New Friends: Join, Start, or Connect

21:13 Choosing Activities That Fit Introverted Personalities

24:20 Sports Leagues, Religious Groups, and Finding Your People

26:24 Nina's Move to Minnesota and What She'd Do Differently

33:34 How a Friendship Breakup Shaped Nina's Career Path

38:14 Reciprocity, Uneven Effort, and Redefining a Good Friend

43:01 Handling One-Sided Conversations Without Hurting Feelings

50:25 Why Showing Up Alone Makes You More Approachable